Mothering

Introduction:

 

In Ann Crittenden piece she uses the famous book “The Giving Tree " to exemplify a mothers ability to constantly make sacrifices. The book ends with the last line saying “and the tree was happy.” I think this is so significant to her comparison. This comparison implies that it is in a mother’s nature to give and ultimately the giving makes them happy. She defines the word mother as a “selfless service to one another.”

Taking on the perspective of motherhood in America give it an interesting and in the case more applicable feel; stating that “motherhood is and American as apple pie” Though this job many times goes completely unrecognized it is certainly well supported that many of the improvements we have seen in society relating to people have been pushed by mothers due to their “unique moral authority.” She discusses the increase in appreciation but still makes it clear that we are not even close to realizing how important a mother’s role really is. She quotes famous economist Lawrence Summers on his input on raising children due the significant number of capital that is brought in through human skills ultimately showing that raising children is the most important task.  As we all know being a stay at home mom is often referred to as doing nothing. People simple mindedly look at this task and wonder why both working full time as well as cleaning cannot be done. How complex could that question really be? Yes someone do it. Through continuing reading it becomes more and more evident that a stay at home mom does not just clean and watch soaps all day but has a full list of responsibilities including positively influencing there child. The cook and clean and nurture so in simply words they are the providers. They provide emotional support a meal on the table and most importantly the nurture and compassion children need starting from a young age. In my opinion the hardest part of the lack of appreciation of being a stay at home mom comes from the children. Though we cannot blame them seeing as society puts it into their head a series of sacrifices made for someone to have them simplify your life to “just a housewife” must hurt. But instead of getting mad it is clear that mothers just like the “Giving Tree” continually give learning to live without what they want as long as the child benefits. A deeper part of the problem is the thought that “time spent with one’s child is time wasted.” is a major part of the problem as well.  Taking the physical and or emotional time off for caring for ones own child can truly set back a working woman especially in this fast paced society. Studies show that the result of child rearing takes an affect in the work place, leaving during certain periods leads to less experience ultimately leading to a better-suited candidate. By using different examples she conveys that America’s main sentiment towards family may not really be regarded that highly seeing, as we don’t help to foster it. In this sense I completely agree and am amazed by its hypocrisy. Though laws forbid unequal treatment over men and women, parenting/motherhood clearly takes a role in the workplace yet is frequently unsupported due to inflexible hours. It is most clear the lack of appreciation for a women’s work at home through the governments own assessment on divorce when including a stay at home mom. I suppose it is tricky to decide how much she would deserve but giving the man more money (because he physically earned it) implies that feeding a child is more important than nurturing it.  The fact is this is most relevant to women seeing as “almost 100% of the primary caregivers of young children are still women. Once again she shows the kind heartedness of many mothers by comparing it to the “Giving Tree” because though there is a lack of appreciation they still do it, because its not about that its about the outcome. She concludes the introduction with a short story on her own experience of being perceived after having a child ultimately stating “after fighting hard to win respect in the workplace, women had yet to win respect for their work at home.

Wage Penalty:

Michelle Budig and Paula England got into great depth to describe the “association between motherhood and lower wages.” by examining data and coming up with statistics to support these believable ideas. Using Waldfogels study (’68-’88) she determines that there is “a wage penalty of 6 percent for mothers with once child and 13 percent for mothers with two or more children. Though this data proves to be very useful Budig and England decide to go deeper and provide even more information. Similar to the previous article they research the job options available to women. It is clear that any job will not due for a working mother. Will the job allow them to take sick time or at times make personal calls during work hours; are they expected to work overtime? These “mother friendly jobs” are hard to find. And with a job with so much benefit what are women losing? Lower wages to support the children they are getting this type of job for? They go one to discuss single mothers ultimately relating it to the gap in poverty with two person households. With all the “penalties” of motherhood is it enough to know that the work of a mother positively affects society. Is bringing home money more important than supporting the development of a child? Is this even a choice for a lot of women or must they do both? Beyond not getting paid it is clear that “mothers pay a price in lowered wages for child rearing” Though we know parenting is a two person job studies show that there is no financial penalty in their wages and some instance increase. But ultimately picking the job with lower wages in order to secure time, as a mother is a sacrifice many women do. Budig and England simplify the 5 reasons motherhood coincides with lower wages. Reason number 1: spending time at home with child pulls them away from work. So while others are improving in their professional field mothers are not around. Reason number 2: Seek mother friendly jobs to not overload themselves. Reason number 3: Less productive because they stretch themselves out multiple ways. Reason number 4: Discrimination. Reason number 5: Child bearing does not correlate with career ambition. I found this article to be really interesting because the stats and subject matter were so relatable. Some information was hard to take seriously because throughout the article they state certain things as facts without proving (i.e. women do most of the work of child rearing.) These social facts took away a lot from an article that was supposed to proving things statistically. Though I did not like this part the stats were easy to follow along with and applicable to the topic of motherhood. Ultimately both articles had a lot in common as far as information to walk away with. They have both well supported the idea that it is not the same for mothers in the workplace and that they are completely underappreciated. I think that Budig and England’s research does a good job of validating the possible reasons of a lower wage. Though that might seem disrespectful I think it makes women more honorable because even if there performance might not be exactly the same these women still handle the challenges of work while raising children to positively impact the world.  

 

Black Women and Motherhood:

 

This article sat right in with me. Seeing as I have come from a black mother and will eventually be a black mother. Coming from a single-family household in many ways I was able to relate to this article.  Patricia Hill Collins brings light to the efforts and significance black women have specifically mothers in the Black American community. The first main idea she brings up is the "superstrong Black mother" in a society where they are painted as bad mothers. She goes on to explain the historical significance explaining that past and present black women have always put their needs second. This to me really connects with roles taken in slavery. Though in many situations women were disrespected and abused they put that all behind them and continued to work hard all with the inspiration of keeping there family together. What was so interesting to me was the concept that “many Black men who praise their own mothers feel less accountable to the mothers of their daughters and sons. To me this idea is horrifying. It actually brings me back to the idea of the “Giving Tree” in which the little boy takes grows older and takes to ultimately end up being old and still taking! Though on the trees part it’s a beautiful thing it somehow comments on some (men) to learn to be grown and be the ones giving to keep the cycle going.  Though I think a mans appreciation for his mother is crucial this should inspire him to see the beauty of his child’s relationship with his mother. Is being too loving and providing ultimately hurting these men? Without the support of the man that made the child with you it must be beyond exhausting to always stay happy. Drawing right back to the idea of black women’s roles in slavery never supported but always supporting. I think what is applicable to both white and black mothers is the forbiddingness to talk about these stresses. If people think it is easy to have a career and maintain a household why should they complain? But is certainly not that simple. Collins points out the pros and cons of being a black mother discussing the idea that learn about themselves and establish their identity yet during this process suppress their feelings and thoughts.

Collins explains the need for community by saying "because all children must be fed, clothed, and educated, if their biological parents could not discharge these obligations, then some other member of the community should accept that responsibility." Ultimately applying to the idea of one person raising a child because it is a two-person job. This really relates to how my own mother said she was raised. Growing up in Ethiopia a country where community means a lot and they have that it takes a village to raise a child. Collins goes on to analyze the also crucial relationship between mother and daughter. She discusses the struggle for black mothers and what to stress in their daughters lives. Through all three articles it becomes more and more evident that the struggles mothers endure are indescribable. This article touches on the fact that races' own history can play so much into this struggle and ultimately make it more challenging. 

Women as Fathers:

 

 This article differs from the previous ones because unlike the other ones it describes the roles of motherhood as ones that scientifically exist as opposed to being taken on. It discuss’ societies focus on the father due to the patriarchal society we come from. It all really starts form day one when children take their fathers last name and claim it as their own despite the fact that the mother just held the child for the past 9 months going through constant ups and downs, pain, and emotion.  Rothman argues despite the assumption that both parties are tied (genetically) with their children she says that it is not that way at all. She thinks that with that 9 month relationship inherently creates a stronger relationship. She questions technologies role in disturbing this connection with ideas such as surrogate mothers that take away from the genetic bond that occurs between a child and its mother with things such as nanny’s and childcare taking away from it. I do not necessarily agree with her views simply because I do not necessarily think it is as genetic as it a social issue. In all the readings we have done women have always been the nurturers and though I do not disregard that there is a connection grown in that 9 months I think many times even in this day age men and women put themselves into the mindset that men are financial providers and women provide emotionally.

 

 

From Marriage to the Market

In Susan Thistle’s From Marriage to Work Thistle analyzes the role of both White and African American woman in the work force. She discuses the hierarchy of financial power by creating a totem pole with white men at the top and black women at the bottom. Though white women might seem to go before black woman it is apparent that men, both White and Black, controlled the lives of their wives. It has always been socially expected no matter what the woman’s financial contribution was for them to have the responsibility of domestic chores and childcare. She goes over different historical events and the changes in our economy and what roles women played in that; briefly discussing WWII’s affect on the roles that had previously confined women to domestic work and its dramatic change. Though she discusses women’s roles an their similarities across the country she makes it clear that there that African American women and White women had different difficulties balancing domestic tasks with paid work. Though the market began to boom and women had a more active role these domestic tasks did not increase. The most prevalent example of race is used in the explanation of Black women’s responsibilities in slavery and even their access to tools and appliances to make things easier.

She goes on to further discuss the impact of certain tecnological advances. Impacting society both positively and negatively ultimately linking it to the “reproductive side of women’s labor. Though the idea of working women becomes more comfortable it becomes apparent that the more women contributed tension grew because of the men’s insecurity about their own personal contributions to the family. Many women even began to postpone starting families to avoid the conflict. As time progresses women’s domestic abilities are no longer the main sought out quality for marriage and true love becomes the most important thing.

In Davis’ Wives and Work he goes in detail about the Sex Role Revolution. He right off the bat highlights the changes between parental and marital relations through the increase of women in the workplace. His data on higher developed countries correlation with women in the work force in my opinion suggests the progression and open mindedness of these places such as the US. He further researches this by studying age, finding that in an increase in women goes hand in hand with the trend of less elderly people working ultimately figuring out that most women work during their “prime reproductive stage.” It is evident that the creation of childcare has played a major role in allowing women to be actively participating in the work force. He goes back to the Industrial Revolution and its initial dependence on the work each family members contribution to the household. Eventually turning into a development of machinery and goods and increasing the economy. What Davis does not deny changing over time is the dual responsibility of women at home and work. He connects divorce rates to women’s new role, which ultimately makes sense because of the newfound independence and financial security.

Women as Fathers:

 

 This article differs from the previous ones because unlike the other ones it describes the roles of motherhood are ones that scientifically exist as opposed to being taken on. It discuss’ societies focus on the father due to the patriarchal society we come from. It all really starts form day one when children take their fathers last name and claim it as their own despite the fact that the mother just held the child for the past 9 months going through constant ups and downs, pain, and emotion.  Rothman argues despite the assumption that both parties are tied (genetically) with their children she says that it is not that way at all. She thinks that with that 9 month relationship inherently creates a stronger relationship. She questions technologies role in disturbing this connection with ideas such as surrogate mothers that take away from the genetic bond that occurs between a child and its mother with things such as nanny’s and childcare taking away from it. I do not necessarily agree with her views simply because I do not necessarily think it is as genetic as it a social issue. In all the readings we have done women have always been the nurturers and though I do not disregard that there is a connection grown in that 9 months I think many times even in this day age men and women put themselves into the mindset that men are financial providers and women provide emotionally.