Children

Judith Harris argues against what popular theorists say in her article “How to Succeed in Childhood” She suggests that parents do not have a huge impact in the adult their children become. Though she does suggest that the expectations of parents and roles they play have increased it has made little impact on the developing child. She suggests that this time change has also brought a long a stronger influence from peers and society thus impacting the kids greatly. Ultimately suggesting that is normal for a child to adapt to the environment they are put in despite how things are at home Part of me understands what she is saying but I think it really depends on the quality of time a parent shares with their children. I certainly see society and the medias impact on kids and agree that it is powerful. But at least personally I think my mother has been the most influential person and though I may have changed when around my friend or my ideas have swayed because of outside forces my mothers influence has stuck with me in all of those situations and has ultimately had the biggest impact on my decisions the media I pay attention to and my choice of friends.

The “Ask the Children" study touches on the intuition parents feel they have when it comes to their children. Galinsky compares what children were actually hinking to what the parents thought they were thinking through intense research. She gives the children a chance to grade their parents in different aspects. She even researches if they are different sentiments towards mothers who work and home makers ultimately finding that the children feel the same. Though she collects data effectively it is hard to take it seriousely. From a personal standpoint I know as a child I would have ranked my mother a lot lower then because I did not have the ability to see things collectively. If she punished me I probably would have graded her lower. The lack of life experience could really sway what the children say and their mood and current sentiment for their parents as well. Though I do believe that parts of it are true especially in regards to the role child care plays in a child. Galinsky points out that these kids have feelings to and are very aware of it. She found that many parents are unaware of what their children want out of their relationship ultimately finding that quality time was better than time spent partially watching them and partially stressing.

Right of the bat Goldschneider and Waite examine the lack of inequality within the household. Perhaps this caused them to study the domestic chores and what gender and age were doing these tasks. They examine more than the just the “average” family but families with step parents or just one parent. Unlike my mothers generation their findings suggest that children do not on the huge tasks of contributing to the household. Though on average little is done there was a difference between what was asked of boys and girls. It suggest that girls are responsible for the most amount of work and boys the least. And when work is assigned the girls do housework and the boys do yard work. What seems like simple things for parents to ask their children to do is actually shaping their mind as to what their role will be when they get older. This really bothers me. Not only do they build this image but not being asked to do the opposite roles suggests that they have no place doing ultimately discouraging a boy from trying to cook (threat to his masculinity) and narrowing a woman’s worth to cooking (stating that she is not strong enough to do manual labor. The study goes on to suggest that single parent households tend to put less stress on the gender role which I find to be personally true. That is perhaps because my mom did not have the chance to depend on a men to do the manly tasks so she learned to do them herself. Though she might not have had a choice I think in the end it has impacted the way I want my relationship to go in the sense that I will not rely on my husband but will be happy to share all tasks with him. particular task. She goes on to study households with step parents and how this impacts childrens contributions. Ultimately coming up with the older daughters behavior similar to that of a princess. I think this is more of a rebellion thing and perhaps the natural adaptation for someone who has been in a situation the longest and it all of a sudden changes.

Zelizer studies the dramatic change of the perception of children who were once seen practically adults and are now seen as sensitive and innocent little babies. Though for us a childhood is not something that is created she points out that this is not always how it has been. She says that historically children have had a responsibility to their family and frequently worked right there with them. She points out that as individualized on owns own children came about we focused so much on our own that we neglect the whole reason why we nurture. We nurture because they are children and it helps them grow so every child deserves it yet we only give it to ours.Though she stresses this she also says at times they should be treated like adults in the sense that jobs are crucial to teir development not only to prepare them for the real world but to also give them responsibility and a work ethic. The taking aaway of chores might appear to ease the lives of these children but the added stress it adds to the parent who has to do it takes away time from the kid and time to relax which is essential in being a good parent. I agree that kids should have responsibility’s but then the question of getting paid to do something that should be done make sense. I am not exactly sure where I stand on this especially just having focused so much on mothers not being paid for all the work they do. I think what is important is for kids to actuively contribute to the household and if they want something and it is feasible to the familys lifestyle they should get it as long as they also behave (for the most part) and do well in school.